shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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