I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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