Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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