My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
