his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
