it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
