Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
