Sponge bath it is.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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