Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the liver wants what the liver wants
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize