ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize