He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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