i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
