i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
