his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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