girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just puked most of my soul out..
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