dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize