last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
