she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
