My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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