You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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