community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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