and she was petting her beer can
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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