i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
