margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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