More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
