You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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