just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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