Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
