So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
