it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
