He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize