Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
