Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
