I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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