508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
