Have you finally orgasmed yet?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
