I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
