Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
