Dual....:-)
I feel like abortions should bother me more
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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