I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
