i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
