So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's always time for handjobs
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
