I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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