i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
