I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
