...so i touched it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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