just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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