Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
