I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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