I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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