I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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