Nicole vs. Life
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
