I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
