I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
