Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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