I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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