Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
two words...techno handjob
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
