I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
