Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
where does the pee come out of this thing
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
