sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
