I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
high people should be assigned attendants
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
