I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
